Post by Silver-chan on Apr 10, 2006 4:51:44 GMT -5
Title: Letter of Forgiveness
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Comedy and a lot of Angst.
Warnings: Language and Stupidity. (It's at the start. -_-)
Summary: After losing a game to Kakamaru, Siren has to clean the attic with the help of Yoshio; after pleading, of course. But as Yoshio searches through some old boxes he find a box filled with pictures and a letter from Ray to him.
Ray looked the scenery in front of him as he held his little brother in his arms. Everything was serene and quiet, like nothing would happen. The leaves on the trees swayed back and forth from the wind as the long grass blew in the breeze. Birds flew in the sky as they chirped soft melodies, their wings making flapping sounds. He smiled to himself and continued to walk back towards Kakamaru‘s home. Once he reached the large house it had already gotten dark as the sun had set behind the forest and the mountains. He walked inside the house and then to his little brother’s room, setting him down in his bed as he placed the sheets over his body. Ray moved the black bangs from his brother’s shut eyes and smiled gently as he flinched at his touch. “Good night, Yoshio,” Ray said as he stood and walked towards his own room, closing the door to Yoshio’s room. He then walked to his room which was across from Yoshio’s and went to his bed, turning on a candle and taking hold of a pen and paper. Steadily he began to write, thinking of Yoshio before he proceeded to do so.
10 Years Later
Yoshio looked over to Siren and Kakamaru, watching as they continued their staring contest. Kale sat idly by, watching them as Yoshio did the same. The two had been at it for the last three hours and twenty-five minutes and the room was deader than silent. As they continued their little game Yoshio looked over at Kakamaru, noticing that he didn’t even move, where as Siren had moved several times in the last half hour.
“Siren,” Yoshio spoke in a as-a-matter-of-fact voice.
“Not now Yoshio,” Siren replied. “I need to beat him or I’ll have to clean the attic.”
“Suit yourself,” Yoshio said as he continued to watch. Kale looked over to Kakamaru as he continued to stare, as did Siren except he had beads of sweat on his forehead. Finally Siren blinked as sweat got into his eyes. Yoshio sighed as Kale gave an ‘awe’ at his brother’s defeat. “Well that was the most useless morning I have ever experience,” Yoshio stated as he crossed his arms.
Siren rubbed his eyes and wiped the sweat from his sweat with his shirt. “It isn’t my fault,” Siren said as he looked to Yoshio. “I just really didn’t want to clean the attic an Kakamaru said this was the only way to prevent me from doing it.”
“Yeah, but there’s just one problem,” Yoshio said as he stood and walked over to Kakamaru’s side. Kale and Siren watched as Yoshio placed his hand in front of Kakamaru’s face and snapped his fingers. Kakamaru blinked a couple of times and yawned, stretching his arms up as he then smiled gently.
“So, what did I miss?” Kakamaru asked, almost as if nothing had happened. “Siren, are you going to clean the attic now or are we going for round two?”
“What the hell?” Siren said as he rouse to his feet, dumbfounded by Kakamaru’s awaken. “Were you asleep with your eyes open this entire time?”
Kakamaru raised and hand and waved as he chuckled. “Of course not Siren,” he answered. “I fell asleep after an hour into the game.” Siren fell down to his feet, not even wanting to go further with questions.
“Does this mean big brother has to clean the attic?” Kale asked as he looked from Siren to Kakamaru.
“Indeed it does Kale,” Kakamaru answered joyfully as he rouse to his feet. “Now, what do you say that you and I get dinner ready for big brother and Yoshio?”
“Yeah!” Kale exclaimed as he jumped to his feet. Kakamaru smiled as he walked over to Kale and picked him up into his arms.
“Have fun cleaning the attic,” Kakamaru said as he entered the kitchen.
Siren sighed as he stood up to his feet, heading towards the stairs. “Yoshio?” he said, stopping at he placed a foot on the first step.
“What?” Yoshio inquired.
Siren turned around, eyes having a pathetic look in them. “Please help me,” he said in a pathetic tone that seemed like he was pleading and crying at the same time.
Yoshio couldn’t help but feel like puking. “Fine,” Yoshio answered. “Just, stop looking so pathetic. It makes me feel like puking and maybe even punching you.”
“Anything as long as you help,” Siren said as he smiled, continuing to go up the stairs and Yoshio followed from behind. Walking down the left hall of second floor Yoshio went to the wall on his right and slid it down a bit, revealing a button. Pressing it down the ceiling above them began to descend as the staircase leading to the attic was revealed.
“Losers first,” Yoshio said as he let Siren go first.
“Thanks,” Siren replied sarcastically as he glared at Yoshio. Stepping onto the steps they both walked up into the attic, turning on the lights as they saw dust everywhere, from top to bottom with spider webs in corners of the ceiling. There were a few boxes on the side near the walls with two windows, and nothing more than that. “I see a lot of dust,” Siren stated.
Yoshio sighed. “Let’s just get started,” he said, throwing a towel his way as he caught it in a bit of surprise. He sighed and went towards the window, deciding to begin with those so he could open them and let some more light into the attic. Yoshio had decided to start with the boxes, thinking that he could maybe find something interesting while looking through them, or maybe something of some value. Half an hour passed by as Siren had finished cleaning the window and was now cleaning the attic floor. Yoshio had cleaned the walls and helped Siren with the floor before returning to searching through the boxes. He found out a few minutes of looking through them that a couple were full of bed sheets, pillows, and anything else that could be needed incase of guests. Another box was filled with Kakamaru’s old things, such as his old clothes.
“One box left,” Siren stated as he walked over to Yoshio as he was about to open it.
“Hopefully this one’s more interesting,” he replied, waiting for Siren to take a knee before opening it. As he opened the box they both looked inside, seeing something that truly surprised them both.
Inside were pictures of them, and what shocked them the most form the pictures was that Ray was in them. Yoshio took out two of the photos and held them in his hand, examining them carefully. One of the photos was himself when he was younger and Ray crouching next to him. The other photo was of Ray holding Yoshio in his arms and Kakamaru next to them both. Yoshio couldn’t help but feel so confused. Why were these pictures in the attic? Was Kakamaru hiding them? Many questions came to his mind as he stared at the pictures.
Siren took out all of the photos as they all had frames. They were clean compared to how dust everything else was before they cleaned it up. Siren pulled out the largest frame which was at the very bottom. As he looked at it his eyes widened a bit as well as saddened. “Yoshio,” Siren said in a quiet voice that was melancholy. Yoshio looked up at Siren as he handed him the large frame. Placing down the pictures in his hand he took the picture handed to him by Siren and looked at it, his eyes going wide.
The picture held himself, Ray, Kakamaru, Kiore, Sotiris, Siren, and Kale. They were all standing together in a group photo. Only Kakamaru, Sotiris, Ray, and Siren smiled gleefully while everyone else seemed to be a bit embarrassed or tried to seem as if nothing odd was happening. Siren was holding Kale in his arms since he was still only a baby. Ray had his hands on Yoshio’s shoulder. Kakamaru was on Ray’s right, Siren to Yoshio’s left, Sotiris behind Siren and to Ray’s left, and Kiore to Kakamaru’s right. The frame around the photo was a dark silver with an inscription on the top and bottom.
“A cherished memory that will forever live on,” Yoshio read the inscription as he continued to stare at the photo. Siren stood idly by, wondering if Yoshio was all right or not. “Is that all there was at the bottom?” Yoshio asked in a voice that held deep sadness.
“I’ll check one more time,” Siren answered as he looked inside the box once more. At first he had thought he had seen nothing, but at the very bottom he saw an envelope with Yoshio’s name on the front. Taking out of the box he made sure it said Yoshio, and it did. “Yoshio, this letter that was inside the box is for you,” he said, handing the letter to his dumbfounded friend. Yoshio placed the photo down gently beside the others as he opened the envelope, taking out the letter carefully as he opened it. “What does it say?” Siren asked, curiosity getting the very best of him at the moment. Yoshio didn’t look away from the letter as he read it out loud for Siren.
It read:
Hey Yoshio. If you’re reading this than that only means that I’m either dead or you’ve been going through my stuff. Either way, I’m most likely dead. I don’t really know how to say this since it’s hard for a brother to speak about death to his little brother. But I know you’ll understand because we’ve been through so much. Well, more or less is what I’m hoping. I’ve come to realize that life isn’t fair to you or our friends. I mean, Siren and Kale lost everything, just like we did. Kakamaru is burdened with an awful past, and Kiore and Sotiris are two idiots with guns who really can’t seem to get a grip on life these days. More to the point is that I don’t really know what to say.
We’ve been through a lot together, to start off, and I can’t blame you for almost never smiling. As Kiore said, why smile if it isn’t real. I know how much pain you feel inside and how it feel like everything is going wrong. But you have to look on the bright side of things, little brother, and you’ll find one speck of light. I know that sounds like something Kakamaru would say, but it’s true. Life has consequences for everything an everyone. We’re the ones that have to make the best of it, but sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we just make irrational decisions and because of that lives are taken from us. I know I’m not one to talk since I’m dead, but still. I want you to at least be happy. You’re the last of our clan now, Yoshio. The blood that runs through your veins is like no one else’s and no one else holds that power but you. You’re one of a kind. I know it may sounds stupid but that’s what you are. An individual who is truly like no other. But almost everyone is like that, now aren’t they? Yoshio, I want to say I’m sorry for everything. It was my fault for our clan’s death and my fault for being the idiot that I turned out to be. I did so many wrong things in the past and regret all of them.
The reason our clan died was because I was the only one, besides out clan’s leader, to be able to wield Yin and Yang. Since the leader died I was entrusted with the blades, and hence forth I was a huge victim to those who wanted power. But because I fought back when the enemy arrived they killed everyone in our clan, from the young to the old. I can’t begin to tell you how much I just wanted to kill myself for letting all of that happen. How much I just wanted to die and be with everyone else. But I didn’t, because I found you. After using the powers of Yin and Yang, and almost getting killed in the process of using them, I found you, still alive. If you were dead I wouldn’t be living. Because you had survived the massacre I vowed to never let you die for as long as I was alive. I would protect you with my own life to the very end, even if it meant my own demise. If you remember carefully, a day after the massacre we met Kakamaru and he helped us both out. Luckily for me I was still breathing.
After a year passed my wounds had finally healed completely over and Yin and Yang were still in my possession. I hated loathed those blades with every fiber of my being, yet I cherished them dearly. They were all that remained of our clan, just like the two of us. I thoughts for days about everything that had happened while I was resting. How we were alone now, and how everything seemed so sad. I know you may seem this is unlike me, but I couldn’t help but feel as if there was no reason to go on any more. I was about ready to give up, but you gave me faith. You always smiled for me, and of course Kakamaru smiled since he always does. But when you smiled I could still see the pain and sorrow behind it. You were in so much pain that I felt responsible for it. There was nothing I could do for you except be there, and even now, I can’t do that for you.
I hope you’ll one day forgive me, Yoshio. I can fully understand if you don’t. I’ve caused so much damage to your life. I’ve caused so much pain and misery to you. I’m sorry for it all and how I wish I could take it all back. But I can’t, and in a way it’s for the best. You have great friends. You have Kakamaru, Kiore, Sotiris, Siren, and Kale. They’ll be there for you like the true friends they are. Never give up and never loose faith, even when it seems so out of reach from you. Whatever may have happened to me was my own fault and no one else’s. Yoshio, I’m sorry. I truly am. I only hope that you’re happy and living a good life for the time being. Please, for not only yourself but as well for those who care about you, always stay strong. I love you Yoshio, and I wish I was still with you to watch you grow.
Sincerely and always,
Your Older Brother, Ray Kizu
Yoshio stopped reading as his voice faded, eyes out of view as his bangs covered them. Siren stayed quiet, feeling sorrow from hearing the letter. Ray had known all along that he would meet an end. Siren looked up to Yoshio, watching as he just stared down to the letter in his hand. “He knew all along,” Yoshio said in a choking voice, sounding as if he were crying. Siren was caught off guard, not knowing what to say or do. “Ray knew he would die and wrote this letter. He wanted me to forgive him for dieing. He said it wasn’t anyone else’s fault but his own for his demise.”
“Yoshio,” Siren said, not sure of what to tell him.
“I remember that even when he was dieing he was still strong,” Yoshio continued. “He always stayed strong for everyone, even if inside he was dieing. He told me that he wasn’t completely healed, even though his scars were gone. He said he was still weak inside. He never showed is weakness, not even in battle. He always, always fought his hardest to protect me and everyone else he cared about. That’s what got him killed. His vow to always protect me got him killed. If it weren’t for me, he would still be alive.”
Siren looked at his friend sympathetically. “Yoshio, I can’t begin to know how you feel, but you can’t blame yourself for something your brother did. He wanted to protect you with his life and he did. He probably knew the toll his death would take on you, but because he wanted to let you live, he didn’t realize it until it was too late.”
Yoshio looked up at Siren, eyes filled with sorrow and pain. Siren’s heart dropped at the look of his comrades eyes. Beginning to place the pictures back into the box he closed it and took the silver framed photo of them all and rouse to his feet. Extending a hand to Yoshio he offered to help him up. Yoshio looked at Siren’s hand for a moment and then down to the letter, placing it carefully back into the envelope. Taking hold of Siren’s hand he was lifted to his feet. The two walked out of the attic from where they came in and closed the attic’s entrance. As they walked down to the kitchen they took their seats at the dinner table. The food was already on the table as Kale and Kakamaru joined them. Nothing was said as Yoshio and Siren stayed silent. This worried Kakamaru, wondering what was wrong as a thought struck his mind.
“Siren, could you please take Kale with you into the living room while I speak to Yoshio alone for a moment?” Kakamaru asked as he looked over to Siren. He nodded and picked Kale up into his arms, walking out of the kitchen and into the living room. Kakamaru then turned his attention back to Yoshio who looked down to his dinner plate. “What’s wrong Yoshio?” he asked softly.
“Kakamaru,” Yoshio began as he paused, thinking of how to ask what he wanted to. “Ray knew what he was doing when he died, right?” he asked.
Kakamaru looked at Yoshio, unsure of what he was exactly asking. “When Ray died I don’t believe he knew what he was doing,” he answered. “You see Yoshio, no one is sure what they’re doing when they’re met with death. It’s a choice between living and dieing. Those who take the chance to live do and those who are not given the chance to live, die. It’s not simple to explain. Sometimes we aren’t given both choices.
“Your brother knew what he was getting into when he decided to choose death over life. It may seem suicidal, but he knew exactly what was happening. Ray was strong, but he was also weak. His heart was soft and his soul was pure. There was no doubt he would have been an amazing person if he had chosen to continue live. But sadly enough he chose death, and his death took a toll on all of us, but most of all you.”
Yoshio looked up to Kakamaru, not saying a word as he continued to speak.
“Understand that Ray wanted what was best for you and everyone around him. He wanted for you to live on, and he knew that the only way that would ever happen was if he gave his life up.” Kakamaru paused for a moment. “Yoshio, you brother is sorry for dieing. He’s sorry for everything that has happened. I know you blame yourself for his death and he blames only himself. The forgiveness you both are asking comes from the other. I know Ray would forgive you for anything, and I know you would as well for Ray. But for me to ask you to forgive him would be outrageous. But remember, he cared about you dearly enough to die. If you were in his place, you would do the same.” Kakamaru rouse to his feet and began to walk towards the living room. He stopped at the entrance and looked at Yoshio from over his shoulder. “Yoshio, never lose what little faith you have left. For your brother’s sake.” That said he left into the living room.
Yoshio stayed seated for a few moments before standing up and leaving the premises, heading straight towards Ray’s grave. Kakamaru had expected he would so and decided to let him go. It took Yoshio a half an hour before coming to Ray’s gravesite. It was in a clear field surrounded the forest with a small stream flowing far to it’s right. Yoshio slowly walked towards the grave as he collapsed to his knees in front of his, tears beginning brim in his eyes. He held back his tears and raised his eyes to the tombstone.
“Why did you choose to die Ray?” Yoshio asked in a sorrow filled voice. “Why didn’t you choose to stay alive?”
“If I chose to stay alive you probably wouldn’t be here right now,” a voice answered from behind him. Yoshio turned around quickly as he rouse to his feet. His eyes widened, seeing a black haired young man with red eyes staring at him.
“Ray,” Yoshio said in a whisper of a voice. “How can you be here when you’re dead?”
“I may be dead my spirit and soul sure aren’t,” he answered. “So, you want to talk about something?”
“I want to know why you chose to die instead of live,” he told him.
“Kakamaru must have given you a little lecture I’m guessing,” Ray said as he placed a hand on the back of his head and sighed. “Listen Yoshio, I chose death because it was the only way that I could make sure that you all would be safe. If I had decided to live you guys probably would have died. I had no other choice but death.”
“But you did Ray!” Yoshio shouted, catching him off guard a bit. “You had the choice to live or die and you chose to die. Do you have any idea how much it hurt to watch you die right in front of me? I felt useless because there was nothing I could do to save you!” Tears began to run down Yoshio’s face quickly as they dropped to the ground. “You were dieing and there was nothing I could do. I felt so useless. All I could do was cry and keep telling myself you would be okay, even though I knew you were going to die. I was terrified inside and the pain was unbearable.”
Ray walked over to Yoshio as he wiped the tears that had fallen from his eyes. Ray placed both hands on Yoshio’s shoulders. He looked up to Ray, both their eyes meeting. “I’m sorry Yoshio,” Ray said in a heartbreaking voice. “I wish I had chosen to live instead of dieing but I couldn’t. I wanted you guys to live, and most of all for you to live. You can blame me for this all you want because I know it’s my fault. No one else is to blame for my actions but myself. I just wish I wasn’t the cause of you pain and suffering.”
Yoshio didn’t say a word as he looked down to the ground. “Ray,” he began, “I always blamed myself for your death, and for that I’m sorry. I want to be forgiven by you. I know that if I hadn’t gotten into the battle you would still be alive. I’m deeply sorry for that.”
Ray smiled at Yoshio and gave him a quick hug. “Yoshio, I know it wasn’t your fault, but because I know you well enough to know you won’t let this go, I forgive you. I truly, with all my heart, soul and spirit forgive you. But can you ever forgive me for dieing, and everything else?”
Yoshio looked at Ray and nodded, showing a soft smile. “Yeah, I forgive you Ray. I always have forgiven you and I always will.” Ray smiled and nodded.
“You better get back home before Siren and the others get worried,” Ray said as he walked through Yoshio towards his grave, sitting on the tombstone. Yoshio looked at Ray and nodded, beginning to walk away back into the forest towards Kakamaru’s house. He stopped and turned back to Ray, seeing him still there, watching him.
“Thanks Ray,” Yoshio said as he continued to walk back.
“No,” Ray said in a voice that Yoshio couldn’t hear. “Thank you, little brother, for giving me a reason to continue living.” His voice faded and he disappeared. It wasn’t long before Yoshio made it Kakamaru’s home, going into the living room to see Siren placing up the group photo that was once in the attic.
“Welcome back Yoshio,” Kakamaru greeted as he turned around to see him.
“What do you think?” Siren asked as he showed Yoshiro the silver framed photograph. Yoshio walked towards the photo and stared at it for a moment or two.
He smiled. “It’s perfect,” he answered. Siren couldn’t help but have a look of confusion. Kakamaru, on the other hand, smiled softly at Yoshio.
He finally found the letter of forgiveness, he thought to himself. I’m glad. For the first time in a long time, he can smile without the pain and sorrow behind it.
Yoshio smiled softly as Siren smiled as well. After a few more minutes Yoshio had decided to go to bed. He went up to his room and stopped in front of it. Looking across from his room he looked at the closed room that once belonged to Ray. Frowning he entered his own room and laid in the bed. Taking out the letter from his overcoat pocket he placed it beside him. He stared at it before closing his eyes.
I wanted to be forgiven, he thought to himself. That’s what I wanted. To be forgiven by Ray for my mistake.
“And you were,” came Ray’s voice softly. Yoshio smiled and nodded as he drifted off to sleep, knowing that Ray was watching him, even after death. In a way, he didn’t just choose death, he also chose life. “Thank you, little brother, for giving me a reason to continue living.” Ray’s voice once again faded into the night as Yoshio continued to sleep. His thoughts of Ray and today were not soon forgotten as the photo hung in the living room continued to reflect the bond that kept them together.
[glow=red,1,000]Silver_Hanyou © 2006 Bloodstained Blades Forum. All rights reserved.[/glow]